Today was Kaki’s first day of school, so we’re walking across the parking lot holding hands and she’s just grinning ear to ear. I catch her eye and smile. She giggles: “I just can’t stop smiling, but I’m too grown up for that now”
Third grade, it seems, is when you can’t just walk around grinning anymore.
Sentences I’ve actually heard myself say:
“No! You can’t sneak your magic wand to school in your shoe.”
“Bread is not for hugging.”
“Sledgehammers aren’t for babies!”
“We sit on chairs, here, not kitties.”
“You know, you can’t really tell a person’s age by how long it takes them to poop.”
Last night I gained insight into my son’s language and comprehension skills. He understands simple direction: “That pan is heavy. It will hurt if you drop it on your foot. Put that down please.” And he obligingly drops the cast iron fry pan. What he lacks, it turns out, is the interpretive ability to realize that a dropped pan hurts Mommy’s foot too.
Q: What are the words you don’t want to hear from you (almost) 3 year-old son as he rides on your shoulders at his sister’s birthday party?
A: I have a potty accident.
This ties Egan up with his sister’s previously held Ickiest Mommy Moment prize earned by vomiting into my ear.
Words are Weird
Egan measures height in necks.
“Do you know how big I am Mommy?” he demands coming in from the garage where he’s been all afternoon with his dad.
“No. How tall are you Sweetie?”
“I’m three necks tall!”
Well, some body part anyway- necks, feet, whatever.
On a related theme, Kaki and I are playing Concentration. You clap out a rhythmic pattern while chanting “Con-cen-tra-tion. Ed-u-ca-tion. No repeats or hes-i-tations. Category is:” and then the winner of the previous round gets to pick a topic- cars, countries, verbs, classmate’s names, etc and you alternate between the players supplying examples without losing the clapping pattern or falling offbeat. We’re doing countries and because I’m anal, I’m moving south geographically through the Americas and because Kaki’s not, she’s not.
Me: United States
Kaki: Oh! I meant Turkey.
Me: helpless laughing
Kaki: I get the food ones confused- Turkey, Hungry….”
Egan knows that his happiness is important to me. When he wants some new item or privledge he’ll lobby: “Please! So I can be so happy!”
Finally, When Egan is tired, he reports that he’s “out of steps.” This appeals to me. I’ts as if there is a stockpile of steps one has available in a day and once they’re used up, you pretty much just stop where you’re walking and wait to be carried.
And on that note, I’m going to bed. I’m out of types.