I think Christ was a mystic who left good instructions on how to become a mystic.
I believe Christianity mediates those instructions into rules for how to live a good life on earth and get into a mystical heaven when you die.
I don’t follow Christianity because I’m not interested in a mystical heaven, and while I am interested in living a moral life on earth, I think the Church’s instructions on how to live one are frustrated by the necessity of including Christ’s actual teachings.
I don’t follow Christ’s actual teachings because I don’t want to be a mystic.
I am not a mystic, but I am interested in the mystical and I am actively looking for way to interact with it without following paths mystics have mapped.
I am not an atheist because I’m interested in myth and art, archetype and spirit, meaning and symbol and the language of mystics is created for those topics. Atheist doctrine concerns itself with primarily with the factual and knowable, which rather conscribes the conversation for me. Can I know that I have a soul? No, but I want to ponder it all the same.
I am not an atheist because I think it’s a losing battle. Atheists will never be able to prove that God does not exist. You can’t prove something doesn’t exist, you can only fail to prove that it does.
Have theists proved that God exists? Not to my satisfaction, but that doesn’t dissuade me from being interested in the Idea.
I am not an atheist because I think that to say “God does not exist” is a fallacy. A person may not believe in God, and God may not exist in reality, but God exists, if nothing else as an incredibly successful meme in almost all human societies. The meme for god(s) has real power and influence and is, in itself, enough to keep me from alliance with atheists who argue that God is an illusion and therefore without power. I can tender no proof for love, but I want it.
I believe things that are not real can be true.
I do not see the presence of evil in this world as a de facto repudiation of an omnipotent and loving god. Augustine answers Epicurus well enough for me. Augustine does not convince me that such a god exists, but he does defuse this popular proof against the existence of God, which is, I think interestingly, predicated on accepting the religious notions of Good and Evil which I reject.
The final reason I am not an atheist is both stylistic and syllogistic. I’d rather be Pro than Anti. I’m Pro-Peace not Anti-War, because I believe that the rejecting impulse allies itself with fear and fear allies with entropy, therefore, to be anti-Something is move away from growth and towards chaos. I am spurred by interest and curiosity, by a deep love of inquiry. I’m Pro-Questioning rather than Anti-Answer.
I do not reject a person because they believe they’ve found the Answer. I’d just like to ask them some questions.